Space

I'm giving him "space" - whatever that is....

So he won't feel the pressure of my need
the urgency of my want
won't have to check in -
or leave me with his itinerary -
No, I'm giving him "space"
so he can come and go as he pleases
walking in and out of my life
as randomly as he wants
here one day - gone the next
leaving his impression, his scent, his feel...
hanging on me

I can not shed his presence
in his absence he remains
- consuming my thoughts
- this flame still burning
and yet, I give him "space"
..to simplify the means
take it slow, options opens
...to control the game

All the while I spend wondering
where are and what he could be doing -
while I replay our moments...
over and over, in my mind

longing for his call,
a sign
anything to say I've finally crossed his mind...
waiting, without patience
as I afford too much
sitting lonely in my room
with nothing but thoughts of him...
and the memories of his touch
...that grip my heart
and stir my spirit -
there is no escape from him
everywhere I turn
- he is in my space.